a8

the anti-me to the anti-you
it can't be like this but i can't stop it
the stranger blond quixote
who traveled south with an existence fucked
lonely nights drawing down tears
over her broken life and her broken luck
you had to re-stack the deck
between us a strange form of evolution
that i can deny myself
anti-acceptance of an anti-solution
i pray i am fucking delusional and you don't see this at all
i hate how you can quiet me under your thumb
i hate how you make me so fucking dumb

a7

it was a coyotes midnight swan song
it sounded so goddamn lonely
sending sounds in hopes of reciprocation
at the expense of humanities condemnation
a lasting vocal desperate hope
loud and brazen
the dark suburb lights up like a christmas tree
responding to an animal that proclaims
"you don't own me!"
fantasies broken that if you drive far enough
you can ignore nature
foolish fantasies that with enough money you can bypass
biological nomenclature

a6

i ran away from home
i think that says a lot about me
i couldn't spend one more day there
offering pound for pound matches
of his single parent despair
i slept in back alleys
i rifled through dumpsters
cleaned peoples houses for money
i never once wondered
why I did it
maybe some people could have suffered more tosses
but i'm the kind of girl who likes to cut down on her losses
i ran away from home

Americana Squared 1

She wasn't born crippled..not physically anyway. The first night she ever drove drunk in a Jaguar changed all of that. She asked that her right leg be preserved in the event medical science could one day re-attach it. She kept the jarred leg in her living room and would stare at it as her husband watched TV. This particular night she found him rubbing it as she came back from the bathroom. He was feeling frisky again.

a5

maybe i am trouble
maybe you just need to step closer
everybody is somebody else's freak
someone elses's unfortunate interloper
in the night i send out signals
pulses and tones in hopes returned
i want to see your face
and to hear your stories
i need to know life lessons learned
my stories don't mean shit
edits of edits of edits
not to sound like a martyr
if you speak i swear ill listen
if you whisper ill listen harder

i saw the fancy placard in westroads mall

They say it was 'random and without provocation' but he was only nineteen. For some people life is so huge that you have to make it heavy for others or you don't exist. You fame seeking fucker. You ruined her job, her mind, and you have ruined her Christmas. She works at the make up counter and barely got away from you. The corporate assholes are going to pull out that tree soon.. the one you covered in blood along with the disgusting ornaments because the insensitive bastards are too damn cheap to just get another one that eight people didn't die in front of so she can work in front of it. She remembers people dead right at her feet and the fear. She told me she's really going to feel it when the ornaments come out. She said they never really cleaned them and you can smell the gunpowder and flesh. Eight hours of exposure to that, every day..can you imagine? There is soothing piano played and endless shoppers who walk around unaffected and she is living in fear for the day after Thanksgiving. Look around.

a4

six towns in five years
uprootings and runaways
natural disasters
non linear trails of tears
you get up or you don't
you'll survive or you won't
miles of snow and hard beating humidity
they always ask the same questions
they always play the same card
meeting people is easy
knowing people is hard

a3

grounding fails
lightning follows where i go
i wiggle my fingers
and the wind blows
who can stop electricity?
it's all just so much energy
i want a fort built out of cushions
secret pulp fantasies
and promises i can begin again

a2

'my.bond.'
she says
'my.connection.'
invisible promises and perceived trust
the very play money of existence
bought history
i want to give you a million dollars
and watch you throw it all into the ocean
because you deserve a revolution
everyday, a heyday

a1

the earth finds ways of protecting itself

a way of saying "past this point you cannot cross"
without suffering
without scars
a land no longer laid flat and bare
a dreadful danger placed there

rosebushes and cacti
the earth finds ways
fast running water and deep pitfalls
the earth finds ways
hurricanes and sandstorms
the earth finds ways
tusked mammallia and arachnids

walking past a caged canine
ferocity incarnate barking
a perversion of nature manufactured by man
coyotes in the distance respond cruelly
and in painfully blind futility
man and nature
we find ways